Medicine ward unit 4

Medicine ward unit 4 is my first ever clinical posting. I have entered what im told is the para-clinical phase of my medical education. The last one year ie the pre-clinical phase has been a long journey from the first day as i wrinkled my nose when shown into the dissecting room to the last day i was cramming at top speed forgetting in which hand i held my textbook and in which the human brain!Studying anatomy,physiology and biochemistry is supposed to be preparatory for the following years but almost nothing about studying those subjects can prepare one for a first time hospital visit.
Well it wasnt a thunder-lightening moment but nonetheless it was a milestone atleast according to me.I had missed the first two classes owing to fact that i had to take my driving test(which i cleared btw!!!) Well anyway as i followed my friend who had been there earlier i was struck with the familiar cliche of "im never going to find my way around here". The hospital looks deceptively small from the outside but its a maze inside...long corridors, hidden staircases and busy people scuttling around. Ill admit i was already intimidated and i hadnt even reached second floor where my friend said we were supposed to report.
Our first duties as third term students apart from tailing our seniors and lecturers around is to learn to perfect our history-taking. History taking involves asking the patients or their kin questions that should in course help us come up with a precise diagnosis. The first thing i wondered was how these patients were tolerating us...if i were sick and people kept coming over to ask questions which in effect was not going to help me i would ask them to buzz off. But these people are quite accomodating...the only problem being their answers vary with each time and each questioner. Its not really thier fault...but sometimes they do tend to change their versions, which our seniors have warned us about, especially when asked questions about their smoking or drinking habits.
Anyway on the first day my attempts at elliciting a history were miserable...after the basic questions as per format i wouldnt know how to proceed and my notes wouldnt be longer than half a page. I constantly felt i was disturbing them and wondering how long it would be before they asked me to leave them alone. But one does tend to get better with practise and now i can manage about a page of history and a small chat with the patient too sometimes. Still, more times than not i forget to include something and keep having to go back to check.
Its altogether a new experience realising that while last year we only worked on cadavers, what we are dealing with now are real people. That was quite enough to set my hands shivering on the first day...i only hope that someday soon i will develop the confidence i see in my seniors!

Home

One year ago when i left home, i promised myself that i will go back there whatever happens and however long it takes! Yesterday when i was to leave for home i wondered how things could be the same when im not the same anymore...but today back at home ive realised that most things in life change with time the one that doesnt... is home!
By home i mean both people and places...my family,my friends,my room, my house, my school and even the roads here!
With friends u never have to miss them if ur lucky enough to have friends like mine...so what if the time or place changes, they are still the same and we are always in touch. When i meet them even after a long time its just like meeting them in school after going back home at the end of each day!
But its a little different with places...how do u deal with missing those?
My room which i have done up myself upto the last detail, where i can find anything blinfolded,where i can walk in the dark without stumbling...my bed the most comfortable one in the world...my books case where ive saved everything from noddy to da vinvi code...my desk...my dresser that has all the greeting cards ive received tacked up...my ceiling and walls with the little glow in the dark stars...my huge whiteboard that has bday msgs from my friends...my bay windows lined with soft toys and pillows...my windchimes...my swing and my little sceret chest with all the stuff ive written and keepsakes from all these years!
Its the one place ive felt all the emotions there are...happiness,sadness,anger,fear,enthusiasm and depression...its also the one place where all 3 times for me r rolled together,the past the present and the future!
My school...the sky blue buildings, the rickety wood furniture, the swimming pool the grounds, playpen,the small corridors where we rehearsed for our plays, the library, the canteen and the labs! i never thought ill say this but i even miss my physics lab!
The libarary that i went to almost everyday spendin hours going thro the books,the cd shop, the store where the owner handed my favourite chocolate even before i asked for it...i missed it all!
To be back here is such an amazing feeling...to wake up in my bed, to laze around in my room and to walk down these roads simply makes me feel...at home! Feling at home is simply a feeling of contentment that there is something that is both permenent and will make u happy!
And although i have to leave in a few days, i know that whereever i go...this is where im coming back to.
They say you cant have roots and wings...and if i had to chose id pick home coz with roots you can still branch out but if u fly away theres no place u can call home.

Kaushik nagarajan

its nearly a year now since i lost my class mate to cancer. i say class mate as i didnt know him well enough to say friend. yet here i am writing about him...and believe me its taken a lot of courage to actually begin typing this.
kaushik nagarajan as far as i knew was a model student any school would have been proud of...good in academics, good in sports, good friend and yet a down to earth person.
the first reaction of people when he was diagnosed with cancer was that of all the people in the world he least deserved to be affected by this horrid disease and on hearing of his sad demise simply the injustice of it all brought tears to many eyes including mine.
i was very shaken for many days after and slowly as life began to fall back into place a very strange thing happened. i started getting dreams about him. i dont know if this has happened with any of his family members or close friends and especially dont know why it happened to me.
the first dream was set in our 12th std class room in physics class where our teacher mrs.vijayasudha is teaching us kirchoff law problems. she dictates a problem and asks him to stand and solve it. i recall him answering it step by step as if it were real.
the second time was shortly after i joined college and dreamt that there was a culturals going on and our psbb team were sitting around after the competition and kaushik comes along and tells us that the teachers have asked us to board the bus to return to school.
there have been other dreams too but these stand out most clearly.
i may not have all the answers in the world but to a large degree i am convinced by the answers in a book called"conversations with god". according to this book, each soul is here to experience something of which other souls dont know about...hence we must never pity for we dont know what that soul wishes to experience but simply bless and love.
further it says often the people around us who leave us never truly do but always stay close by and sometimes even send signals to say that they are safe and happy and ask us not to worry or mourn for them.
i would love to believe that my dreams are such signals and that where ever he is today, he is at peace.
"kaushik where ever we go and whatever we become we will always think of u and remember u as a gr8 friend and a wonderful human being!"

Hello and welcome

Hi everybody and welcome to akhila's world!
This is my very first blog and also the first time im going public with my writing. For me writing and dance have always been two things very close to my heart and whenever people have asked me publish articles or dance on stage it felt like they were asking me to read my personal diary aloud on the stage.So I never did it until now and im still not entirely sure what made me start this blog. In fact im not even sure why anyone should be interested in reading it especially when there are hundreds and probably millions of bloggers out there who are better thinkers and writers than me.
So I guess this is more for me to organize my thoughts and maybe type in some of the bizarre fiction I come up with sometimes! Yet I cannot be detached enough to claim that I don’t give a damn for what people think about my writing coz honestly I do!
First of I want to tell my readers who I am... but its not that easy coz this question really stumped me...I couldn’t even answer myself ...who am I? Is there an answer to this that satisfies emotionally, socially and practically? If I were to say im daughter of so-and -so would that make everything else seem less important or if I were to say im from this country would that make nationality most basic?Come to think of it even my name isn’t truly fundamental or my own.
So rather than muddle you and myself anymore let me tell you what to expect from my writing which is more relevant and somewhere I guess this would also be one part of the answer as to who I am.Well from the very way I started writing you must have guessed im not the kind who can churn out articles that will make you roll with laughter...quite the contrary I always end up writing on serious topics and my fiction too is mostly mystery! That’s probably why I have great respect for people who write witty things and bring out subtle comedy in their works...but hey im not going to stay handicapped in humor writing ill probably give it a shot sometime!
Ok ive made my disclaimers now and sufficiently introduced myself as well!
Looking forward to writing a lot in my blog and hoping time doesn’t play spoilsport Ill log out now! Cheers!